Bart Vs. Blackboards
Just in case you were curious, here are the messages that Bart Simpson
wrote on the Blackboard.
- I will not waste chalk
- I will not skateboard in the halls
- I will not burp in class
- I will not instigate revolution
- I will not draw naked ladies in class
- I did not see Elvis
- I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
- Garlic Gum is not funny
- They are laughing at me, not with me
- I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom
- I will not encourage others to fly
- I will not fake my way through life
- Tar is not a plaything
- I will not Xerox my butt
- It's potato, not potatoe
- I will not trade pants with others
- I am not a 32 old woman
- I will not do that thing with my tongue
- I will not drive the principal's car
- I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
- I will not sell school property
- I will not cut corners
- I will not get very far with this attitude
- I will not make flatuent noises in class
- I will not belch the National Anthem
- I will not sell land in Florida
- I will not grease the monkey bars
- I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
- I will not do anything bad ever again
- I will not show off
- I will not sleep through my education
- I am not a dentist
- Spitwads are not free speech
- Nobody likes sunburn slappers
- High explosives and school don't mix
- I will not bribe Principal Skinner
- I will not squeak chalk
- I will finish what I start
- "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
- Underwear should be worn on the inside
- The Christmas Pageant does not stink
- I will not torment the emotionally frail
- I will not carve gods
- I will not spank others
- I will not aim for the head
- I will not barf unless I am sick
- I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
- I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
- I will not conduct my own fire drills
- Funny noises are not funny
- I will not snap bras
- I will not fake seizures
- This punishment is not boring and pointless
- My name is not Dr. Death
- I will not defame New Orleans
- I will not prescribe medication
- I will not bury the new kid
- I will not bring sheep to class
- A burp is not the answer
- Teacher is not a leper
- Coffee is not for kids
- I will not eat things for money
- I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call
- The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
- I will not call the principal "Spud head"
- Goldfish don't bounce
- Mud is not one fo the four food groups
- No one is interested in my underpants
- I will not sell miracle cures
- I will return the eye-seeing dog
- I do not have diplomatic immunity
- I will not charge admission to the bathroom
- I will never win an Emmy
- The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
- All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
- I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
- I am not authorized to fire substitued teachers
- My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
- I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
- I am not deliciously saucy
- Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
- The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"
- I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
- There are plenty of businesses like show business
- I will not re-trransmit without express permission of Major League
Baseball
- Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
- Beans are neither fruit nor musical
- I will not use abbrev.
- I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr
- I am not certified to remove asbestos
- I will not hide the teacher's prozac
- I will not complain about the answer when I hear it
- Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
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Last Modified: December 23, 2006